Surrender

The Practice of Surrender

 

“I am only here for Savasana” was my mantra during the first few months of my yoga practice.  And boy, did I mean it! When I first began yoga, I couldn’t wait for the class to be over so I could lay down!  I mean….get into savasana.  At the time, I didn’t know the benefits of that final resting pose.  My body was just tired and worn, and the “I get to lay down soon” was a great motivator to keep going. 

 

Being a fan of savasana is totally against my personality.  You would never catch me sitting on my couch binge-watching tv, let alone lying down in a yoga studio.  But there was something about savasana that drew me in—something about the stillness, the quiet, and the surrender. 

 

Oh, the surrender.  The surrender of my will.  Surrender of my anxious thoughts.  And surrender of all doing. 

 

At the end of class, when I could sense people around me getting up, I went deeper.  Deeper into stillness.  Deeper into surrender.

 

In that surrender is where I hear the voice of God.  Where I feel the divine connection of my soul to His will. 

 

Although I didn't know it at the time, my body and mind longed for the stillness and surrender.  It was the only time I was not fighting an unseen battle—the battle of my mind and the battle of my will.  

 

I didn’t know it at the time, but what I was experiencing was the yogi principle of Ishvara Pranidhana.  Ishvara Pranidhana is the Niyama, or observance, of  surrender. 

 

In the book, “The Yamas & Niyamas,” Deborah Adele states, “Surrender invites us to be active participants in our life, totally present and fluid with each moment while appreciating the magnitude and mystery of what we are participating in."

 

 

My first tell of me not practicing Ishvara Pranidhana is my breath.  It’s shallow.   I hold it.  I some how think not taking a full breath keeps uncertainty at bay.  Or if I hold my breath, I can control the situation or keep the bad news from reaching my ears.  With my breath restricted, my thoughts begin to run rampant and the crazy train starts to pull out of the station

 

I want to live a life of Ishvara Pranidhana.  Not of gripping, or holding my breath and running scenarios in my head.  But a life in full active surrender to the present moment and what that moment holds for me.  And in that act of surrender I want to learn to appreciate the magnitude and mystery of what I am participating in.  I don’t want to fear it, control it or try to make sense of it. 

 

 B. K. S. Iyengar states in his “Light on the Yoga Sutras," "Through surrender the aspirant's ego is effaced, and...grace...pours down upon him like a torrential rain."

 

Grace.

Pours.

Down. 

 

B.K. you had me at grace…..

 

That is precisely how I feel in savasana. Laying there, soaking up grace into every cell of my body as it pours down and washes over me.   Reminding me “Thy will be done.” 

 

How do I take what I long for in Savasana and carrying that off my mat into the world? 

 

How can I live a life of Ishvara Pranidhana during that hard conversation, cooking dinner after a long day or interacting with the checkout person who is asking me for the 1,0000 time if I want a Target credit card!?   

 

I may not live every second of every day in total surrender. Still, at least I can approach my mat with an offering and mindset of Ishvara Pranidhana and see where my practice leads. And take my experience off my mat and into the world around me.